Homecoming

Submitted by Monique Askew, Diversity Commision Scholarship Recipient

During the first few weeks, I found myself a lot closer to home than one would initially think studying Traditional Chinese Medicine. I had to contain myself from shouting "my momma taught me that" in class. Since starting the program, I often hear what the Chinese believe and I found out that it isn't far from my family's child rearing. To this day, my mom investigates all her "grown" children and adopted kid's complexion. She checks for changes in texture, color, and dryness. She may not have known about Wei Qi, but covering up one's nose, neck, and for some reason feet was stressed in our home in Cleveland. She always guarded against being over-emotional, explaining that if you talk about a thing (issue, or conflict) too much you will make it bigger than what it is. My mother could always judge a person's health based on their speech, eyes, and gait. It was she who first pointed out when something wasn't quite right about President Reagan - long before the public knew he had Alzheimer's disease. She would notice when someone's eyes were "off" then later we'd hear they had liver disease. It's no wonder she was told at the age of 64 that she had the bone density of a 25 year old - she always kept herself active in the garden, doing stretches or going for long walks. Her diet was and continues to be on point. Recently, an age-obsessed family friend was closely examining my mom's face. She was looking for wrinkles! "What's your secret?" Probably water, prayer, good thoughts, food and exercise. Especially the food, Mrs. Askew made sure to keep her plate "colorful" with greens, squash, cooked carrots, etc. Oh and she never drinks anything cold - choosing instead to let things sit until it's room temperature.

The weeks pass and it's becoming easier to remember that's what mom said. Taiji began to feel more like a refuge than an 8-week gym class. I found myself doing it on the weekends, at night, and during study breaks until finally one day my pulse had left her familiar wiry ground and became moderate. Halfway through the trimester, I learn that Taiji was used by barefoot doctors to regulate their own pulses in order to have it as a steady standard for measuring the pulses of their patients. Ahhh, it's all coming together - until the following week's quizzes, practicals, exams and team exercises.

I spent the first 10 years of my post undergraduate career distancing myself from the familiar. It was slow, flat, with a slight drawl and most of all the familiar was Midwest. I was determined to make it on my own as an artist in NYC, as an activist in Europe, as a woman away from "home". I wasn't going to be the 3rd child of the Askews, so and so's baby sister, the one who didn't practice law, the one who's not in the music industry, or the one who did NOT live in Ohio. I didn't want to be different, I just was - and being different in Cleveland was probably as different as you could be. But different in NYC, well now that's different! So I spent those early years defining my place in the world, refining my speech for Shakespear, changing things up for a go-see, while building bridges to other people and places. Seoul, Egypt, Paris all seemed within reach in NYC. It would be almost a decade before I looked back. I had no reason to.

Weekly discussions with my mother involve a short recap of current events, lessons learned, and newfound secrets. We may have had a bumpy start. She was 37, her last daughter was born 10 years prior and she was looking forward to her 40s. She had only one ovary left so being struck by lightning seemed more likely than my arrival. The day she was told she was pregnant, she cried. The doctor didn't understand why - after all she was still married to my father. This was the 70s, so I don't think he completely got it.

2010 on a weekday night I say to her, oh and we learned...., never mind that she reared her children with a similar understanding. I'm wishing to be back there under her guard of wisdom, comfort food, and hugs scented with Avon lotion. It's as if I'm trying to reconfigure an umbilical cord to her womb.

I lay here flat on my back at UHS, and I take a nice slow breath in as a warm stream envelopes my soul. I feel like dancing but I'm pinned down literally. This program has given me so much to contemplate and retrace. Amidst the crazy schedule, the labored reading, and long hours of sitting, I'm slowly finding my way back home; and redefining what that means to me.

While I know it's sad but true that I will not always have my mother in the physical plane, I know now that through acupuncture I can preserve the tradition that she and my grandmother (a southern herbalist) created for their children and community. It's just the beginning of the end of a road that has been long traveled and now I know my place. It's a big tree but I'm pretty confident there's a limb with my name on it.

Picture of Monique's mother and grandmother