In the first of this three-part series, we began our exploration into how to create a Portable Emotional Oasis – an internal emotional environment that remains hospitable and pleasant, regardless of how difficult the external environment becomes. Creating a Portable Emotional Oasis enables us to take a vacation from stress, because it enables us to respond to pressures, demands, and hassles with serenity and good cheer. In the last article, we explored the following simple practices for creating a Portable Emotional Oasis:

Get up early enough so you don’t start your day off in Frantic Mode. - When we start off in Frantic Mode, not only do we set a stressful tone for the day, we also make ourselves vulnerable to being knocked off balance by any unpleasant wind blowing our way. By starting off in with calm and serenity, we are far more likely to stay calm when challenges come calling.

Stabilize with silence. – Starting the day with silence adds to our “emotional ballast,” giving us greater stability and balance. It also helps us tap into our intuitive wisdom – that “still, small voice” inside that offers guidance. When we befriend our intuitive wisdom and learn to trust it’s knowing, we develop a quiet confidence in our ability to know the best response in the face of challenge and uncertainty.

Start your day off with positive intention. –  A positive intention is any uplifting thought, such as “I will bring my Highest Self to all interactions,”  “I will bring goodwill to those I meet today” or “I will only say things that uplift others.”  By doing that, we choose the theme and the tone of the day, rather than letting whatever life serves up determine how our day goes. Starting our day off with intention also increases the odds that we will respond in a wise, kind, and compassionate way to challenging people and events.

Prime your Attitudinal Pump. - Reading something uplifting just prior to retiring gives the subconscious mind useful material to process during the night. Reading a few brief passages or a daily affirmation upon arising starts the day off on a positive note. It also increases the chances that if life serves up a problem that day, these empowering thoughts will beat the disempowering ones to the finish line – our conscious mind. Because the “good thoughts” were last in, they’re more likely to be first out. These uplifting attitudes and interpretations  enable us to respond resourcefully to challenges, rather than let challenges determine our mood.

In the first article in this series, we also talked about the important difference between Knowing and Doing. As with the principles and practices discussed in the previous article, those covered in this article aren’t rocket science. They’re probably thoughts and ideas you’ve had, and maybe forgotten or forgotten to use. So as you read them, the point isn’t whether you know them, but rather are you doing them.

Unleash the Power of Gratitude

This article will focus on practices that unleash the power of gratitude. When we are filled with gratitude, we not only feel happier, we also more readily put challenges in perspective. To experience this effect right now, imagine you just won the lottery. After basking a few moments in this pleasant fantasy, imagine going to work bright and early Monday morning (which of course you would do after winning the lottery), and being faced with your typical daily dose of demands, challenges, and hassles. Imagine on your way home, you get stuck in a traffic jam and you get a flat tire. Would you feel stressed by what the day served up? Probably not. You would be so full of gratitude, thankfulness and  happiness, that you would respond with grace and equanimity – and maybe a little bemusement at the absurdity of it all.

Because gratitude brings happiness and the ability to put challenges in perspective, practicing gratitude is one of the most powerful ways to create a Portable Emotional Oasis. A strong sense of gratitude creates a strong internal weather system, enabling us to maintain our good weather regardless of whether the external environment turns gloomy or stormy. Furthermore, when we well up inside with thanks, we bring that warm glow wherever we go, brightening whatever and whomever we encounter.

Unfortunately, Taking Things For Granted Comes Naturally

Maintaining an “attitude of gratitude” requires ongoing attention and practice, because it’s human nature to take things for granted. There’s a biological, evolutionary reason for this. Our brain, like the brain of any member of the animal kingdom, is designed to pay attention to things that are new and different, and to ignore things that stay the same.  This is because for most of mankind’s stay on our planet, our survival depended on quickly responding to anything new and different in our environment. Any new sound, sight, or smell could signal danger. Even though times have changed, our brain hasn’t.

To illustrate this process in action, think about working at a cubicle and the conversations taking place all around you. After awhile, your brain filters these sounds out; they wouldn’t register on your “radar screen.”  But, if everything went quiet, you would instantly notice the silence. This new development would grab your attention.  Another example of not noticing things that stay the same is our ability to, after awhile, not see the beautiful paintings or photographs hung on our walls at home. Because they’re not new, they no longer register in our conscious awareness.

Activate Your “Gratitude Radar”

Because we don’t notice things that aren’t changing, we don’t notice all the simple things in life we have to be grateful for – unless we lose them.  Thus, by not noticing them, we rob ourselves of the precious gift that is gratitude.  Fortunately, we can counteract this natural tendency to ignore what hasn’t changed, and thus tap into the limitless source of gratitude surrounding us. We can do this by consciously turning on our “Gratitude Radar;” we can tune our brain to notice those sources of gratitude that we ordinarily don’t notice, and by doing so, tap into the power of gratitude. The following ideas and practices can help you turn on your Gratitude Radar.

Imagine Losing Those Precious Gifts

The simplest and most obvious practice for tuning your brain to gratitude is to spend time thinking about all that you have to be grateful for. Don’t just think about them, though, like you’re ticking off items on a shopping list. If you do that, you will simply have an intellectual recognition – “Oh yeah, that’s right, I do have a lot to be grateful for.” You want the experience of gratitude, not the thought. To help you feel gratitude, imagine what it would be like if you were to lose each of the people, pets, belongings, or life situations that you are blessed with. Let yourself feel the grief, the loss, the pain. Then let yourself feel the relief and gratitude in knowing that this isn’t the case. The next time you encounter each, remember this exercise and the feelings of gratitude and appreciation you have for that particular person, pet, or belonging.

Recognize The Gift of Your Many Little Helpers

Think of the many inanimate objects in your life that help make your life easier and more comfortable. For instance, take your washer and dryer. Most of us take our washer and dryer for granted, until we are without them. Then we realize what a true gift these humble appliances are. Think about all the little conveniences we take for granted such as air conditioning, a car that doesn’t break down, a roof over our heads, and even indoor plumbing. That last one might seem like a stretch, but think of how many places on the globe that don’t have this amenity. In fact, something we take for granted – that you can always count on tap water being potable, regardless of where you travel in the United States – is NOT something you can count on in most countries. Think about that the next time you pour a glass of water.

To get the most out of this understanding, don’t make this recognition a onetime event. Make it a regular part of your everyday life. For instance, when you do your laundry, stop for a moment and let yourself feel gratitude for the convenience your washer and dryer provide.  You might even thank them (when no one is watching). When your car starts on a cold winter morning, let yourself feel thanks for its trustworthiness. When you are doing home repairs and would rather be reading a book or going to a movie, let yourself feel thanks that you have your own home, not to mention having a roof over your head. Think of people who don’t have either, whether because of economics or fire. Let your good fortune bring thanks and gratitude.

Dwell on The Times You’ve Been Spared

Think of how many times in your life you’ve narrowly escaped an auto accident. If you’re like most of us, after you had gotten over your initial shock and relief, your sense of gratitude evaporated. In a matter of minutes, your returned to whatever dramas had been preoccupying your mind prior to the near disaster.

Haven’t you done this? Isn’t it amazing how quickly we can take for granted something that moments before had left us feeling intense relief and gratitude? When we do that, it’s like we just took this precious gift that life gave us, and instead of treasuring it; we unwrapped it, glanced at it, tossed it in the closet, and forgot about it.

To appreciate this gift, practice dwelling on how lucky you are when you’ve had a close call. Every now and then, reflect back on times you’ve been spared, and let yourself well up with gratitude.

OK, Now It’s Time to “Do”

Actively experiencing and expressing gratitude will make a huge difference in how you feel each day and your response to challenge. Experiencing gratitude for all the gifts in your life will bring happiness and good cheer to you and those you encounter throughout the day. By practicing gratitude, you will be making your Portable Emotional Oasis both more pleasant and more impervious to the storms brought on by difficult people and difficult situations.  You will also be a positive force in other’s lives, the kind of person that others feel good just being around.

Now, none of this will happen if you just put down this article, think “Yeah, good idea” and go back to business as usual. Instead, practice these principles and strategies until they become second nature, and notice the difference gratitude makes in your life.

Author: David Lee, President of Human Nature @ Work, www.humannature@work.com, info@HumanNatureAtWork.com