In the second segment of this three-part series, we talked about engaging in the practice of gratitude as an integral component of creating a Portable Emotional Oasis. In this final segment, we will explore four other simple practices that will help you maintain your good cheer and serenity, regardless of what challenges or frustrations the day may offer. These are:

• Savoring Life’s Little Pleasures
• Enjoying Those Magic Moments of Connection
• Spreading Goodwill
• “Showing Up” For Your Loved Ones

Savor Life’s Little Pleasures

Often, we hope for a major event to bring us happiness – the ultimate job, mate, or even vacation. “If only I ____, then I’d be happy” we say to ourselves. When we do that, we make our happiness contingent on some future, and possibly unlikely, event – not a particularly good strategy for a satisfying life.

By hoping for some future dramatic event to bring happiness, we miss the multitude of little daily events and experiences that can bring joy if we’re awake. How often do we savor and give thanks for the delicious feeling of a hot shower first thing in the morning, the sweet cheerfulness of a songbird serenading us when we arise, or the sensual feel of a favorite fabric? Awakening to the never ending supply of simple pleasures available each day enables us to tap into a bottomless well of happiness and gratitude.

If you doubt the power of this principle, think about how often children laugh and smile compared to adults. Children can find joy and amusement in the simplest of things. They don’t need a major event or production to feel good. We would do well to recapture that sense of innocent amusement and appreciation. Doing so would bring a steady stream of sunshine into our internal climate. 

To put this into action, practice paying attention to the pleasing sights, sounds, and sensations that greet you each day. It can be as simple as appreciating a cool breeze on your cheek, enjoying the movement of your body as you lift weights or practice yoga, or noticing the pleasing sight of an attractive outfit worn by a co-worker. Practice paying attention to seemingly ordinary moments that can offer amusement, pleasure, surprise, and joy. And then savor those moments.

Enjoy Those Magic Moments of Connection

Think of how often you go to the store or walk down the street and never look at anyone going by. Think of how often you check out at the grocery store without catching the clerk’s eye or talking with them. Then, think of those little magic moments when you’ve caught a stranger’s eye while witnessing some absurdity, and you shared a knowing smile. Remember times when you’ve engaged in playful banter with a grocery store clerk? Don’t you leave those encounters feeling happy and amused?

Consciously engaging people as you go about your life is another way of creating a brighter internal emotional climate, a sunnier Portable Emotional Oasis. If you tend to be reserved, this may sound a bit strange. I remember being in Atlanta with a friend, when a man just started to chat with us on the street. After we had moved on, my friend laughingly asked me if I was wondering what his agenda was. She could see it on my face. She then went on to explain that “Down here, strangers talk to each other, we’re a bit more open than you New Englanders.”

I have a friend Beth who chats up just about every clerk, waiter or waitress she encounters as if they’re old friends. It’s fun to see how much fun Beth and her temporary playmates have during these simple connections. It’s a great reminder to me of what a wonderful – and limitless – source of pleasure reaching out and engaging others can be. Because people are all around us, the supply is endless. Thus, reaching out and connecting with others is a wonderful way of keeping our internal emotional climate sunny.

To put this into action, practice making eye contact with clerks and sharing a few pleasantries. If they grunt or just stare, know that not everybody is into having a “we are the world” experience. If you witness something amusing or interesting in the presence of a stranger, comment on it to them. Watch friends or strangers who are good at engaging others and borrow their “technique.”

Spread Goodwill

Spreading goodwill is like giving a compliment, it makes both the sender and receiver feel good. I think of sharing goodwill as emotional philanthropy. Anybody who volunteers or engages in philanthropic activities knows that the kindness and generosity they give out returns to them in the form of soul-satisfying happiness. We can brighten our day and the day of others by consciously sharing goodwill. I recently experienced a poignant example of how easily we miss this opportunity.

When I stopped into a client company, one of the managers mentioned to me how impressed she was with one of her supervisees, because of this woman’s dedication to professional development. Wanting to spread goodwill, I made sure I let her know what her supervisor had said, when I later encountered that employee. She immediately brightened and said “Thank you so much for telling me, that made my day.” Then she paused and continued ruefully “I wish she had told ME that.”

Now, I’m sure her manager, a seasoned professional, knows how important it is to show appreciation and give recognition, but like most of us, her busyness probably got in the way of making that little extra effort. Perhaps she didn’t think that such a “little thing” would make a difference. But that little extra effort not only would have increased the employee’s desire to do good work, it would have brightened both the employee’s day and the manager’s. I can certainly attest to how good I felt seeing how pleased she was to hear the compliment.

To put this principle into practice, pay attention to opportunities for giving sincere compliments, showing appreciation, and letting people know that you see their uniqueness. It could be sending out a short Thank You note, verbally acknowledging your appreciation, or complimenting someone’s unique outfit. When you do that, notice how good you feel; how your Portable Emotional Oasis becomes even sunnier.

Show Up For Your Loved Ones

Think of how often your children, partner, and/or pets attempt to engage you and find no one home. How often do you find yourself going through the motions of listening or caring, when your mind is really miles away, thinking about work or any number of other concerns?

Instead of being fully present, being fully focused on the most important beings in our life, we often interact in an absent-minded, going-through-the-motions way. When this happens, we cheat the other person and ourselves out of the most powerful source of happiness and fulfillment that life offers – the sharing of love.

To prevent this all too common loss from happening in your life, practice pausing while interacting with the special people and pets in your life and give thanks for them. Let yourself well up with love and appreciation for the gift that they are in your life. Then, refocus on them and only them. If you need more motivation to keep focused, remind yourself that tomorrow is promised to no one. Ask yourself “If this were to be my last interaction with them, would I feel at peace, knowing that they felt seen and loved by me?”

Putting These Into Practice

As I mentioned in the earlier segments of this series, the practices that enable us to create a Portable Emotional Oasis aren’t rocket science. They aren’t complex nor are they late breaking news. The question isn’t do we  know these principles, it’s are we practicing them. Knowing them won’t make a difference in our lives. Doing them will. So, here are those simple practices once more. They will enable you to bring your Portable Emotional Oasis wherever you go, and with it, bring greater serenity and good cheer to each day.

· Get up early enough so you don’t start your day off in Frantic Mode

· Stabilize with silence

· Start your day off with positive intention

· Prime your Attitudinal Pump

· Unleash the Power of Gratitude

· Savor Life’s Little Pleasures

· Enjoy Those Magic Moments of Connection

· Spread Goodwill

· “Show Up” For Your Loved Ones

Author: David Lee, President of Human Nature @ Work, www.humannature@work.com, info@HumanNatureAtWork.com