Biggest Successes This Month:

This was a good month for me in many ways.   I completed—yes, completed--my 28-day Ultra Clear detox. This experience has been both enlightening and challenging as I waded through the weeks with no dairy, wheat, eggs, soy, sweeteners (sugar, honey, maple syrup, molasses, etc.) corn, and a few other choice morsels. I must say, I am very proud of myself for this accomplishment. I didn’t cheat at all and was so committed to this detox that I was not even fazed by my spouse’s food choices: chocolate chip cookies, chips, chocolate cake, ice cream bars, fruit-filled yogurt, etc.

The benefits of this detox have been many: I have felt much lighter in body and soul. I have been much less irritable. I am much more conscious of what I eat as well as how much I eat. I feel more mental clarity, more daily joy, more possibility in life. I feel that I have begun a profound shift in my relationship with food. Though I still overate during the detox, they were not the sugar/salt binges I am used to. Instead, I ate too many grapes or 1/2 a grapefruit too many, or too many veggies. I am, more and more, thinking about my food choices instead of always following the dictates of my anxious cravings. I am beginning to notice the difference between food as a source of nourishment and life; and food used like addict wanting to quell the anxiety and pain of being human.  From this detox I found out that I may be allergic to eggs, which is unfortunate because I enjoy eggs and rely on them a lot for breakfast. I also confirmed—as if I didn’t already know—that I am highly allergic to sugar. So, I have decided to give up sugar for yet another month.

I continued to do my spiritual practices almost every day and found an increasing freedom and lightness of spirit.

I have been thinking about taking a karate class for about a year, as I wanted the exercise and the opportunity to discharge some of my tension and anger. Well, I finally decided to stop thinking about it and a couple of weeks ago I showed up at the school to observe a beginner’s class and talk with the teacher. I spoke briefly with him and the next thing I knew, I was out on the floor kicking and punching and blocking. It felt so good to work up a sweat, and the most amazing thing about it is that I didn’t hurt my sedentary, de-conditioned body, wasn’t even sore the next day (well, maybe a little in the hip, but hardly a problem). After the class, I was wandering around the building and came across a flyer for a Kundalini Yoga class being offered down the hall. Intrigued, I did some research and found that apparently, this particular style of yoga is a powerful way to increase one’s energy and well being. I’m going to try the class this week.

I started de-cluttering my home by getting rid of a crib we never used, which freed up space to move our exercise bike into the spare room (my spouse even used it once it was moved).This process led to more organizing and de-junking and within a few days, we had transformed our little abode into a cleaner, simpler, much more livable space. All from that one five-minute action of listing the crib on that website.

To satisfy my deep desire to write, I decided to start a blog. While researching such an endeavor on Google, I came across a number of software programs that allow average computer users like me to create web sites. I am ordering that software this week and will dive into this project with excitement, curiosity, and a bit of anxiety that always accompanies the unknown.

Biggest Challenges This Month:

The first few days of the cleanse were difficult, as I had intense an craving for something, anything with sugar. The craving passed and I thought, “The rest of this cleanse will be a piece of cake (so to speak).” Wrong. A chronic skin rash that comes and goes flared up and I spent about two weeks itching and scratching. Then another strange thing happened: I noticed a strong bitter metallic taste on my tongue which had nothing to do with anything I had eaten. In fact, everything I ate tasted that way—bitter and metallic. That is still going on and it’s hard to enjoy my food because everything tastes like a flag pole (I know, because I was one of those kids who got their tongue stuck on a flag pole in the middle of winter). I know these things are ultimately positive, simply part of the body cleansing itself. But, they are a bit disorienting and uncomfortable. Also, I have not lost any weight on this detox. I was hoping I would shed a few pounds, but I guess I ate too much fruit and too many veggies. And, I didn’t exercise at all.

My body hurts from a combination of age, my work, a lack of exercise, and carrying my child, who gets heavier by the hour. Feet, shoulders, forearms, knees, the whole back. Here’s hoping that yoga and/or karate can help me transform this body into one I can enjoy.

Rosie and I talk a lot about bringing my best thinking forward. She asks me what my thought process is as I make choices in my life. I don’t know, can’t answer her. I have some mental block around my thinking process (which, as I write it, sounds very paradoxical). I’m really not sure how I make decisions in life. I just seem to follow the whim of the moment. But I know that thoughts precede nearly every choice I make in life, big and small; and if I don’t know what the thoughts are, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have any It simply means I’m not conscious of the thoughts I’m having as I make choices. I find this very curious and sense there is the possibility for a huge breakthrough here.


Mid-Program Reflection:

I’ve yet to do my re-assessment, so I can’t answer really answer this question. I will say that I should have known, me being me, that this program would be more difficult than I thought. True to my nature, I have used this program to delve deeply beneath the surface of my life and have unearthed some very difficult and downright painful places in my psyche. I have also experienced the bliss that comes with true revelation, so all the challenges have been worth it.

Click here to see "Gerry's" mid-program results

Unexpected Differences I’ve Noticed in Other Areas of My Life:

I didn’t expect to be able to change my food choices as profoundly as I have. And, though I’ve yet to have the breakthrough around thinking that I sense is coming, I didn’t expect to even enter this territory. Just looking at my thinking is intriguing and provocative. Another thing that is s-l-o-w-l-y shifting is my ability to think small, consider the details of life instead of always being stuck in the big picture. Just as with my child, crawling leads to standing leads to baby steps leads to walking leads to running; before you know it, you’ve gotten somewhere.

My Goals/Plans for Month 4 and the Second Half of the Program:

1. Finish the detox program. Though I’m done with Ultra Clear, I still have about two weeks of reintroducing certain foods back into my diet to see how I respond to them.
   
2. Go another 31 days without eating sugar. Not a month; 31 days, one at a time.
   
3. Take the Kundalini Yoga class and see how it feels, then start that class and/or karate on a regular basis. I must address my body aches and pains.
   
4. Keep talking with Rosie about my thoughts. I intend to become a Chooser of Life, and to do this, I must first know what I’m choosing instead of life.