Biggest Successes This Month:

The successes I had were subtle, “back-door” victories, meaning that they were hidden in the challenges and had to be searched for. My child has hit stride as a full blown toddler, complete with increased tantrums, aggressive behavior, and needs that are more urgent than before (I didn’t think that was possible). Talk about shock and awe! I felt bewildered as a parent and, at times, clueless how to be with the little one. The success in this is that I found in myself a new level of creative parenting and lots of info on the internet. Turns out, it’s all normal behavior for a toddler, which means he/she is developing right on schedule, which is a comforting success; I guess we’re doing something right. Besides, this child is adorable and amazing, and worth all the trouble.

Problems with my spouse, that have arisen since the birth of our child, have rushed to the forefront this month, making my home life very challenging. The success in this is that we continue to stay connected with each other out of love and a desire to create more wholeness in our marriage. We began couples counseling last week, which is also a success.

I was extraordinarily busy this month, with another four-day class with my spiritual teacher, the mid-month holidays, and my child’s big birthday party—all in addition to the regular intensity of work and home. The success in this is that I rose to the challenge and met every deadline, kept every appointment, enjoyed the holidays, learned a lot from my class, and gave our toddler a great party.

Financially, it was a challenging month. The class, the holidays, and the birthday party all coincided with the two-week school break and my spouse’s temporary reduction in work hours. The success in this was that we managed to be generous despite the constraints. And, thanks to my part time self-employment, we still paid all of our bills on time, which is always a good thing. Also, I called our financial counselor, whom we have not seen for many years, for an appointment. This was a very good thing, because she helped us considerably in the past.

Biggest Challenges This Month:

Sugar crept back into my diet a little bit, which was a bit of a challenge; however, it never turned into a full-blown sweet tooth binge. My commitment is that it doesn’t.

In addition to the challenges that presented themselves with my successes, I had a medical problem that created considerable pain and lingered for two weeks before being resolved by minor surgery. It made a difficult month even more challenging.

Because of the intensity of my schedule this month, I found it difficult to find time to do yoga and my spiritual practices, two activities essential to my well being.  I also missed the structure of work at Northwestern. I felt a bit disoriented without it.

Insights or Major “A-Ha” Moments:

I came to a new level of self-empowerment amid all of my struggles. I tend naturally toward victim mentality in my life, especially when things aren’t flowing the way I think they should be. I watch this victim closely so it doesn’t run the show, because it’s no way to live—it’s very disempowering and often leads to more problems.

However, the victim in me was very strong this month with all the challenges I encountered. One day I awoke with an acute awareness that I was in victim. A curious thing happened, though; instead of giving in to the victim in me, I had the realization that I make my own place in life; if I want it to be different, only I can do it. I was filled with a level of self-empowerment that I rarely have experienced and took some action steps to improve some problem areas.  

My Goals/Plans for the last Month of the Program:

My goal is to resume practicing yoga regularly as well as my spiritual practices.  I also want to examine by diet, especially around sugar. I’m not sure what that means yet.  In addition, I plan to continue to think about my choices and notice my resistance to living powerfully and well.