Biggest Successes This Month:

My relationship with sugar continues to progress, meaning that it is getting easier and easier to avoid it. It is to the point now that when I am face to face with some delicious sweet I remember how bad I will feel physically if I eat it; and I rarely do. And, the few times I have indulged, I suffer such poor health for a day or two that my decision to avoid sugar is further reinforced.

My work life also continues to move forward. I am feeling more empowered in my work, both at NWHSU and in my private practice. More and more, I am basing my choices on what I want instead of on what I am afraid of. It feels GREAT, and I am enjoying my work so much more. And, my private practice is getting busier.

My spouse finally agreed that our daughter is ready for part time daycare. She has been ready for a few months now, and we’re finally actively looking for the right situation. I am relieved, because my daughter is desperate to connect with other children. This is not so much a success as it is a milestone in the life of our family. Success or not, it brings me joy.

I signed up for another Kundalini yoga class. It was a success to sign up and show up, but I am wondering if the class is too intense for me right now, because I hurt myself during class almost every week. I’m not sure...I’ll have to ponder this, because I really do enjoy the class.

Biggest Challenges This Month:

My biggest challenges centered around consistency. I have been very irregular in doing my spiritual practices, exercising regularly, going to bed early, and doing the things I say I’m going to do. This inconsistency and lack of follow-through are nothing new for me and continue to affect my daily life. I feel frustrated at the lack of progress in this area. Perhaps the greatest challenge of all is to have self-compassion for my very human struggles. I must recognize that I am doing my best at any given time.

Insights or Major “A-Ha” Moments:

That I am the co-creator of my life, and I have a much greater say in the outcome of that life than I previously thought. 

My Thoughts on Being Done With the Program and Taking This Experience Back Into My Life:

I have mixed feelings about the end of this program.  From a time standpoint, I am glad to be almost done with the regular appointments and commitments that are a part of this program.  And, since I took this process deep into my heart (as I do most things in my life), I sometimes found it difficult to confront myself, face my fears, and look honestly at my life.  There were weeks where I felt such pressure being a part of this program; I won’t miss that.

What I will miss is the opportunity to look at my life with such support.  I am by nature a deeply self-reflective person, and I found it very helpful to meet with Rosie every week and discuss, and challenge, and be challenged.  I am stronger and healthier for the experience, and I will miss the support.

Only time will tell if this program has made a true lasting difference in my life.  Can I allow what I have learned to integrate into my core?  Can I truly choose in my daily life what will bring my best self forward?  Or, will I retreat to the safety of my old ways?

In this moment, I declare to the world, for my sake and the well being of my young daughter, that I choose health and Life.  I worked hard to grow and change through this program.  I am grateful for the opportunity and I will let the wisdom I have uncovered take seed within me, root in my heart, and help move me upward toward the sun.