Anger is a normal human emotion and reaction to frustration, pain, loss, and actions of others. It is a natural, self-protecting response to threats. But if anger gets out of control, it can become irrational and destructive, and create problems at work, at school, or in personal relationships.

The American Psychological Association suggests the following strategies for managing anger:

• Learn to express your anger in an assertive way by making clear what your needs are without hurting others.
• Learn what triggers your anger and develop strategies to keep those triggers from causing you to get out of control.
• Relax with deep breathing, slowly repeating a calming word or phrase such as “relax” or “take it easy,” visualizing a calming experience, or doing nonstrenuous, yoga-like exercises.
• Change the way you think and try replacing exaggerated and irrational angry thoughts with rational ones.
• Develop a plan to deal with a problem that you are angry about.
• In a heated discussion, slow down and think carefully through what you are going to say before you respond.  Don’t say the first thing that comes to your mind.  Listen carefully to what the other person is saying, and then respond. Refrain from “retaliating” when you are criticized.  “Keeping your cool” can keep a discussion from getting out of control.
• Use humor to defuse tense situations.
• Schedule some “personal time” for times that are particularly stressful, so you can better handle the demands of the situation.
• Avoid or find alternatives, if possible, to situations that anger you.

If you think your anger is really out of control, you might want to consider working with a licensed, professional counselor to learn ways to better handle your anger.

Source: “Controlling Anger—Before It Controls You,” American Psychological Association, www.apa.org.