The “Terrific Twos” – Enjoy the Tough Toddler Years
Posted on August 11, 2009
They throw temper tantrums; have frequent mood changes; and their favorite word is “no.” It’s no doubt that raising a two-year-old can be a challenging and trying time for parents. That’s why this age is often known as the “terrible twos.” But this development stage is not only normal, it’s necessary. It is the time of a child’s life when they’re beginning to explore their independence and have a desire to make their own decisions.
Anne Packard-Spicer, DC, DACCP, an associate professor at Northwestern Health Sciences University, has a different view. She refers to these years as the “terrific twos.” She describes two-year-olds as little scientists collecting data on what behavior is acceptable and when it is acceptable. For instance, they find that there is a consequence for a tantrum at home during the day, but they investigate whether they can get away with a tantrum at the store, while mom is on the phone, while she is making dinner, or when dad is home. “If parents can have a sense of humor and a big-picture mentality, it can be pretty fun,” says Dr. Packard-Spicer, who has a thriving pediatric practice in the University’s Bloomington Natural Care Center.
This stage begins for most children around the age of one-and-a-half and it can last until about age three. Although it can be difficult, there are ways to make it easier to get through this stage of development with less trauma for both you and your child.
- Routine – Have a regular schedule for meals, snacks, and naps, and stick to them each day;
- Offer limited choices. For example, for snack offer an apple or orange. That way the child feels like they are making a decision, yet both options are healthy;
- Set limits and stick to them – but don’t be surprised when your toddler tries to test them;
- Don’t give in to tantrums – it only reinforces the behavior;
- Discipline your child by giving time-outs or taking away privileges. This lets them know bad behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated;
- Provide your child with a safe environment to play in; and
- Get advice from other parents that have already gone through this stage – find out what worked for them.
Next time your two-year-old starts pushing your buttons, take a step back and realize what this stage of life is all about. Allow your child to express their independence, and give them boundaries to help them along the way.
HealthyU is a program developed by Northwestern Health Sciences University to educate, empower, and support people who seek to improve and maintain their overall health and well-being through the integration of mind, body, and spirit. The HealthyU website features 1,200 pages of information on how to live healthfully and more than 1,300 links to additional resources on the web. Visit www.nwhealth.edu/healthyU.